- [The logo of Merlin flashes.]
- [A shot of Camelot Castle, with the caption "Once Upon a Time in Camelot..."]
- [Scene: Camelot Castle, the court of Camelot, including Uther, Arthur and Gaius, are in discussion. Suddenly, some sort of creature is heard causing the doors to shake.]
Uther Pendragon: What the devil is going on?
- [Merlin comes through the door in a hurry.]
Merlin: There's a monster!
Uther: A monster?
Merlin: It's horrible, yellow, and has only one eye!
Uther: Arthur, you must destroy it.
Arthur: I'll ride out immediately. [Gets out his sword.]
Gaius: My lord. [Arthur and his knights stop.] I fear this is no ordinary monster.
Uther: You know of this beast?
Gaius: I do, my lord. I believe it to be a... [hesitates]
Uther: Spit it out, man!
Uther: A Pudsey? [Arthur turns to Merlin and mouths in confusion "A Pudsey?"] Is it a creature of magic? If so, it must be destroyed.
Gaius: I believe it to be a creature of charity.
Gaius: Yes, my lord. We need to raise money, sire. Lots of money.
Uther: I will not have this creature fleece my kingdom!
Gaius: I don't mean that, sire. Someone must be humiliated to amuse the public.
Uther: But who would do such a thing?
- [Everyone turns to Merlin, who appears confused.]
- [Cut to: Merlin in the stocks, being pelted with fruit by the amused public.]
- [The scene fades to the logo.]
- [Scene: Camelot Castle, Uther is with Arthur and Gaius, counting the money raised. It is contained in a chest with a Pudsey Bear dressed as a king sitting on the money.]
Gaius: The public have been very generous, sir.
Uther: Yes. Well done, Gaius.
Gaius: Don't thank me, sire. Thank Merlin.
- [Merlin enters, covered in fruit.]
Uther: [Uther, upon seeing Merlin, chuckles.] I have a mind to honour this Pudsey every year.
Gaius: I'm sure Merlin will be thrilled, sire.
- [Merlin sarcastically smiles. A tomato from off-screen hits him in the face.]
- [Scene: Throne Room, Uther addresses the people of Camelot.]
Uther: Do as your king commands. [Uther takes a goblet.] Give your money to Pudsey, or I'll chop your head off. [Uther takes a sip from his goblet.]